Nemesis is getting bigger. He’s a very slinky, shiny cat these days. The vet thought that maybe he had some Siamese in him because his fur is so silky and he’s got such big ears. He’s starting to chill out a bit and spend a lot more time snoozing and less time making stealthy ninja leaps at people and poor Ootchy Mootchy!

I had my craft friends over today. Well, just Catherine in the end, but it was good. Jericho was at kinder and Soren was asleep, so we sat in the loungeroom and Catherine cross stitched and I did my knitting, and we both got our fill of talk and gossip. It’s so nice to have some adult time without little kids around! It’s a relief to not have to censor our discussion, and not have to constantly have eyes and ears out for little ones getting in to mischief and be ready at any moment to interrupt a conversation to intervene.

I saw Rosemary, the psychologist, this afternoon too. I talked a lot about Jericho and the way I’ve been feeling and thinking about that. I don’t know, it was good to talk about it and get some feedback, and she helped me get it a little bit straighter in my head. I think it’s also probably good for me to just sit there and have a tearful little pity party for myself and get that all out so I can move on, rather than just ignoring all my emotions and going about feeling full of inner tension and angst.

It was helpful telling her the timeline of Jericho’s life too, and the evolution of this sort of problem behaviour. Because it has definitely been a change in personality since his hospitalisation last year, which is important to know in trying to help him. Thinking about all that when I was telling her about it, and talking it over with Troy later on, I am pretty confident in saying that he was a very happy, laidback baby and toddler and there weren’t these kind of issues then. He was a late talker and there were certainly big tantrums due to his frustration with his lack of communication skills, but he was generally happy and confident and enjoyed his life. I think maybe that the things that happened in 2009 (Soren being born, the fire, the moving, my ptsd) probably rattled him, and then his surgery and hospitalisation was just too much for him. He really wasn’t the same after that. We expected some level of behavioural fallout from that experience, not to mention the fact that physically he was so weak and run down and had lost so much weight, but he has never got better and now things are really getting worse. But there is help out there for him, and I really hope that we can find someone to help him settle down in himself.

I’m doing kinder duty tomorrow too, so I’ll get to see him there which will be interesting. I’m taking Soren too, which will also be interesting- let’s hope I can get him through it without him making too much of a mess!

And Livejournal has gone weird on me and isn’t sending me emails of comments, so I’m sorry if someone has written something and I haven’t replied. Hopefully they’ll fix the glitch soon.