Friday 18 August 2017

Teenage girls are crazy. I had to drive the kids to school this morning because it was raining, and the weather was freezing – 4 degrees but felt like 0 with icy wind and rain – and yet there were so many girls soldiering on to school in summer dresses that barely cover their butts, and ankle socks. Just…why??? You look so miserable! Your legs are all purple and you’re hunchy and shivery while you wait for the lollipop man! Put on a pair of tights and keep yourself warm! I mean, boys wear shorts too, but I suppose shorts are slightly more substantial than twenty centimetres of cotton dress, and frankly I just expect girls to be more sensible.

Perhaps I have just crushed my children’s spirits, because they all wear pants and tights in winter? Although Emma might be folding the top of her winter skirt over to make it look shorter (either that or she’s grown since I bought it, either of which is a reasonable possibility), but at least she wears the thick tights and even socks underneath them so I know she’s not freezing to death.

So there, that’s my old person get off my lawn you young whippersnappers moment, complaining about people not dressing for the weather, ha ha ha.

It practically rained all day here, and was extremely cold. This is going to continue for the next few days too, but honestly I am quite happy with the weather here. My house is warm, I have my cosy Costco hoodie to wear when I have to run out to the car to drive the children to school, and it feels absolutely decadent to wrap up in a crochet blanket and have an afternoon nap while it rains outside, which I did today. It was supposed to be a power nap, since I only had a little bit of time before I had to drive to school, but it was not powerful enough.

All the kids were pretty happy today. They had nice days at school, and they’re always happy it’s Friday. Soren did tell me today that he misses going to IGA and choosing a snack on Fridays though, which is what we always did before we moved – now we just come home and they have whatever I can find. He has definitely lost his school jumper, he asked his teacher about it today and no one in the room could find it, so I don’t know. I guess I will ask at the front desk if they have a lost and found, since maybe he left it in the Japanese room or the hall or something.

Thursday 17 August 2017

Taking my smashed phone to the iphone man might have been a mistake. I DO have a nice, new, non-shattered screen (which sadly shows less saturated colour- everything on my phone looks a bit washed out now), but several times yesterday and today the phone has suddenly gone berserk, opening up multiple apps and dialling messagebank and flicking through screens so fast that I can’t shut anything down without just turning the whole phone off. He does offer a 30 day guarantee (of sorts) so I will take it back to him and see if he can do anything, but I’m basically shit out of luck if he can’t. I only got the phone last November too, so the contract has ages to go. All round it’s not very good.

Today was a day where I felt like I’m not really coping with life all that well. Nothing really happened, but I felt sick and kind of hopeless about a lot of things. There was also way too much driving back and forth but not actually going anywhere – I drove the kids to school, then went to the supermarket then came home. I drove to pick the children up from school, then drove around in several wrong directions trying to take Nicholai to a bowling alley that he didn’t have an address for. Ugh. We eventually managed to find it and leave him there, driving back home. Then a little bit later I had to drive back to the bowling alley and pick him and drive him home. A little bit after that I had to take Emma and Jericho to hockey training, come home for dinner, go back to hockey training to pick them up…none of this was hard (well, okay, not wanting to hit Nicholai upside the head when he couldn’t give me an address for where he wanted to go was hard) but it just feels like such a chore.

But a lot of things feel like chores at the moment. Actual chores do- I am so tired of doing two or three loads of laundry a day and never ending dishes. Parenting feels like a chore – Soren lost his school jumper and Jericho is so exhausting to deal with at the moment that I’m beginning to lose the words to talk about it. I am just struggling so hard with him – nothing makes him happy and most of what makes him unhappy he seems to lay at my feet like I’m supposed to be able to do something about it…and no, I can’t do anything about a mysterious ache in his leg, or the fact that it’s raining, or that swimming and BTN are part of the school curriculum, or that time runs forward in a linear way and I can’t insert more minutes between tea time and bedtime. He doesn’t accept things- he has to detail exactly how dissatisfied he is with things, even when he knows full well that it can’t be changed, and if we refuse to listen to him then of course we’re all evil and heartless and no one loves him. But even with other things, he just keeps pushing until I have to be the bad guy – like I’ll say what’s for snack and he’ll ask if he can have two, or he’ll ask if he can watch tv and if I say no he’ll immediately ask if he can watch it later, or watch it after tea, or whatever, until he’s forced me to say no enough that he gets to be shitty. I don’t know, it’s all just so hard. And I feel as though I’m doing a very poor job of coping with it – he’s probably not being any more difficult than he usually is, but I’m just not dealing well.

And I feel so awful about even complaining about this, because I know he’s not doing this on purpose- it is hard to be Jericho, and I should be helping him grow and supporting him, not wanting to run away and hide.

Oh, this has been all whining and complaining and I feel worse – how can I expect an eleven year old to handle his angst when I clearly can’t deal with mine?!?!

Thinking of good things…I like this new scarf I’m knitting- both the knitting of it and the resulting object. It’s a relaxing pattern to knit and pretty to look at. And Troy has done our tax return and we’re getting enough of a refund that I can buy a new clothes dryer without bankruptcy breathing down my neck, so that’s good too.

Wednesday 16 August 2017

I wish I could get rid of this cold I have. It’s been hanging around for over a week and I’m so fed up with it. I don’t feel really bad or anything, but it’s a chronic runny nose and vaguely sore throat and slightly sore glands in my neck, and none of it is very much fun.

It was a very quiet day today, with Troy gone to the office. I walked the kids to school and did some grocery shopping and housework, picked them up from school…just the usual.

I watched a couple of episodes of American Horror Story Hotel and did some knitting this afternoon. I’ve started the scarf for Triauna, and so far I really like the pattern. It feels a bit odd knitting it in 4ply yarn after using 8ply for the other scarves though – I think it’s going to be a beautifully soft, lightweight scarf when it’s done, but it’s a change from making a much chunkier, cosier scarf. Soren actually wore his new scarf today, both walking to and from school…I think it’s safe to say he likes it. He also really likes that he and Luna dog match, ha ha ha.

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Tuesday 15th August 2017

We are becoming real Ballarat people now – yesterday was all sunny and about 18 degrees and we were all taking our jumpers off and marvelling about how warm it was. Then today was freezing cold and rainy again, and everyone was just ‘eh, back to normal’. No big deal.

Jericho really didn’t enjoy swimming yesterday, as this morning he tried to tell us he didn’t feel well and couldn’t go to school. Poor kiddo. However it was pretty obvious that “not feeling well” was really “dreading having to go to the pool”, so off he went. Swimming today went better though, and he was feeling a lot better about the whole thing this afternoon. I’m honestly not sure why he is so against it – he’s a reasonable swimmer and has never disliked it before.

I also had Soren in tears this afternoon, because he has too much homework and it’s all too hard. I snuggled up with him on the daybed in Troy’s office (seriously so comfy – it has two foam mattresses on it so it’s so soft and cushiony!) and we talked for a while. He’s doing well at school and is making some friends, but he’s not as comfortable with his teacher as he was with Hayley, and he’s also having some trouble with the boy he sits next to. I haven’t heard about him before, but this afternoon Soren was crying about it a little bit- he said that this boy always has to be the smartest in the room and he got mad/made a fuss at Soren when he didn’t know where China was on a map and when Soren couldn’t read his handwriting. Actually, once Soren told us about it he cheered up and then he told me that he calls this boy the Living Thesaurus, because when they were all supposed to write down a word about tadpole eggs nearly everyone in the class wrote ‘slimy’ and this kid wrote ‘repulsive’. That made me laugh a bit, and I really love how resilient Soren is, that to cope with this kid that he doesn’t like he just has a private, humorous view of him and moves on. We did suggest to him that he could talk to his teacher about this boy not being terribly nice to him and ask if he could swap seats, if it keeps bothering him.

I spent the rest of my birthday giftcards at Spotlight on towels today. I was going to get another set of fancy sheets, but they were no longer half price so I couldn’t pay that much for them. Instead I bought new towels for Troy and I, since we have been using the same towels for eight and a half years. And I know it’s been that long because we were given them after Soren was born, when Jean had to use our regular towels to clean up the car that he was born in! Anyway, I just wash them and dry them and put them right back, so I do mean that we’ve been using them daily for that long. However using them every day means that you don’t really notice them wearing out, until today when I bought new towels that are so thick and fluffy the old ones feel a bit like tea towels!

I also bought a piece of gold cardboard to make Soren a golden ticket, since he has decided to dress up as Charlie Bucket for the book week parade. That’s got to be one of the simplest costumes ever- he can wear some raggedy pants (does he have anything else?) and a scarf and hat and hold onto his golden ticket and it’s all good. I told Jericho that he really should choose a costume that involves a long grey beard, since he has such a fabulous one from last book parade, ha ha ha! He didn’t want to be Zeus again, so he’s going to have a trident and be Poseidon. If I can get some sea shells or something for his headpiece that holds the beard on (it’s got leaves on it, for Zeus) then we’ll do that too. Sea shell necklace perhaps? We’ll see.

I also bought some yarn for the Rosalie scarf I’m going to knit, but I had to get 4 ply because they had no white baby 8 ply – Spotlight is so crap with yarn sometimes!

Troy’s mum and dad have to come back early from their holiday. Nana has been in hospital (she had a fall a week or two ago) but now she’s been assessed as needing high care and so she can’t go home to her unit. I don’t know, it’s not unexpected but it’s still just really sad…I mean, one day she’s at home on her own, the next day she’s in hospital, and now she has to move on to a whole new environment. And being realistic, an environment she is very unlikely to actually want to live in. I’m sure it will all turn out fine, and she does need extra help, but in a lot of ways it feels like a depressing way to live out what is left of your life. But perhaps this is just me feeling morbid and unhappy with my own aging? I don’t really know.

Monday 14 August 2017

My phone fell out of my pocket on the way to school this morning and smashed to smithereens. It was definitely not the kind of crack you can just put up with til your contract runs out and you can get a new phone – it was the kind of shattered that you don’t want to touch because of the likelihood of glass splinters in your fingers. I took it to ‘the iphone guy’ to get the screen replaced. I didn’t even know you could do that, but fortunately Troy enlightened me. It was horrifically expensive, but compared to the cost of a new phone it was really the only thing to do.

I waited until Troy’s lunch break to take the phone in so that he could come with me. We’re still finding out what’s around here, so we left the phone and took a walk through Bridge Mall and around that end of Sturt Street. I really love being able to actually do things like that on Troy’s lunch break – he takes an hour, and with everything being so close to our house we can go off and do some errands and hang out a bit.

We forgot Jericho had swimming today. Apparently we weren’t the only ones, and the office lady said she had a whole list of people to call. It doesn’t make me any less hopeless that other people forgot too, but it’s nice to know I’m not the only ditzy one who forgets these things! Anyway, I got Jericho’s towel and bathers and took them up to the school so he didn’t have to miss out. Not that he would have cared if he’d not been able to go – he was pretty unenthusiastic about it in the first place, and this afternoon he said that it wasn’t that much fun.

Sunday 13 August 2017

I slept in today and it was so good! A good thirteen hours sleep really does wonders.

It was a really nice, relaxing Sunday too. Troy had been shopping in the morning and we had pies and sausage rolls and little triangle pastries for lunch. I watched some House Hunters, and that other show about flipping houses, while knitting Soren’s scarf. It’s coming along quite well – garter stitch is pretty boring, but it’s also very relaxing and at least it works up really quickly. It also seems I’m in a scarf knitting sort of phase, since I made my own and am now doing Soren’s, and I’ve just promised to make one for Twilight Girl. I found a pattern to make the scarf that Rosalie wears in the cafeteria scene in Twilight, and so of course I had to make it for Triauna! I can’t believe we’ve been messaging online for five years now, that’s nuts.

We all went to the Gardens late this afternoon too. It was a lovely sunny day, and it was good to get out of the house and go for a bit of a walk. We played Pokemon Go and walked through the gardens and along the lakeshore, and the kids played on the playground for a little while. I like doing things like that- it’s a really low pressure and relaxing way of spending time together.

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Saturday 12 August 2017

I’m watching a movie version of Anne of Green Gables that was made last year – I never even knew about this! I haven’t watched very much yet, but so far I think Martin Sheen is not as good as the old Matthew Cuthbert, but the girl playing Anne is adorable.

We’re watching it on SBS On Demand, which we only just learned has movies. Last night Troy picked West World, some old movie about a robot theme park out of control – I think I’m going to be much happier with Anne tonight.

Emma and Jericho played hockey this morning. They didn’t win, but they both played pretty well. Troy said Jericho was doing some good tackling and the coach said, “He’s a little gun, isn’t he?” and then he won the movie ticket for the best on ground, so that was excellent.

Troy borrowed Dr Strange from the movie machine (it’s a Blockbuster one – I didn’t even know that Blockbuster still existed in any form) and everyone watched that. There are not too many movies that everyone in the family are interested in watching, so it was really nice to have everyone snuggled up in blankets together. I was a bit meh about the movie, but the kids and Troy liked it.

Troy and I went out shopping in the afternoon, continuing my quest for comfortably fitting bras. Fingers crossed that I’ve got what I need and can just forget about the whole miserable experience. Although to be fair, once the miserable experience of buying them is done, wearing new bras is always nice.

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