Booklist 2017

89. The Attic Term – Antonia Forest
Story – Another book in series about the Marlow family. This book centres primarily on Ginty, whose relationship with Patrick is growing and who finds herself running big risks at school during the term. It also follows Nicola and Lawrie and their form as they develop a performance for the Christmas carol service; and Patrick’s life at day school in London.
Thoughts – I love the books about the Marlow girls. I think Lee got End of Term for Christmas one year, and I read that a million times and then found the other one in the Junior school library. I was recently reminded of them and went hunting for them – finding out that they are now out of print and I could buy a copy of one of them for over four thousand dollars…um, no. However I found a copy of the Attic Term at a much more reasonable rate and bought it, finding out that it’s just as delightful as it used to be. I really like the relationships of the girls as sisters, and with their friends. I liked finding out more about Patrick in this one, although some of the religious aspects of his story are a little hard to understand, as I don’t fully understand the context. (Catholic church reformation after Vatican II I think?) Anyway, I really enjoyed this one and am now looking forward to reading Autumn Term when it arrives…if anyone finds a copy of Cricket Term, hit me up!

88. A Pony For Sale – Diana Pullein Thompson
Story – This is the story of the pony Martini as she moves through four owner. Firstly Guy, who breeds her and then breaks her into a well behaved, spirited pony with lots of potential; then Pip, who finds Martini just a little too lively and then struggles with her confidence; Lydia, with her heavy hands and harsh methods; and Lettie, who attempts to bring Martini back to her best.
Thoughts – I found this at an antique market. I love Pullein-Thompson pony books, and they are becoming increasingly hard to find at places like markets and op shops, so I was lucky to find this one. As always, I really enjoyed it – pony books are like comfort food, they’re so soothing.

87. The Babysitters Club (graphic novels) Ann M Martin
Story – Four of the Babysitters Club books in graphic novel form; Kristy’s Great Idea, The Truth About Stacey, Mary Anne Saves the Day, and Claudia and Mean Janine.
Thoughts – I bought this box set at an antique/collectables market, and it was such a good buy! Not only did I love it, but all four of my children read them too, ha ha ha! I don’t know why they changed the Claudia book (in the regular series #2 is Claudia and the Phantom Phone Calls, and Claudia and Mean Janine doesn’t happen until book #7) but these were really well done. I admit that I am not personally into graphic novels as a general rule, but considering I practically know these books off by heart, reading them in comic form was great.

86. The Baby Trap – Sibel Hodge
Story – Gina is 33, and wants a baby. She and her husband set out to have one, but fulfilling their dream is not as straightforward as Gina hoped.
Thoughts – Infertility is not something I dealt with, but I do love reading about women and their journey’s to motherhood, however that happens. So reading about fertility treatments and acupuncture and feng shui for pregnancy is all good. The characters were slightly quirky and fun, which was good, and until the last moment I would have rated this book fairly positively.
However (and I know no one really reads this, but if you do and do not want to know what happens, skip this bit) the ending ruined the whole thing! After all that time, money, effort, when they’d made the decision that a baby wasn’t in their future and planned their next step…oh, she’s just accidently pregnant! And look, I KNOW people get pregnant unexpectedly when they’ve never been able to before. It happens more than you’d think. But considering this whole book dealt with how rude and frustrating and unhelpful the whole ‘just relax and it’ll happen’ mindset is when you’re having genuine fertility issues, to have the protagonist show up pregnant on the last page, after only one month earlier turning her thoughts to a babyless future and getting excited about it…well, that just ruined the whole book. A stupid ‘happy ending’ that the story didn’t need.

85. Give Me The Child – Mel McGrath
Story – Cat Lupo is a renowned neuro-psychiatrist, with one much loved daughter and a steady marriage. Or so it seems, until the knock at the door in the middle of the night brings Ruby, the daughter her husband fathered during a one night stand eleven years ago. Ruby’s arrival is not a welcome one, and Cat’s life becomes shadowed by fear and uncertainty as Ruby’s influence spreads.
Thoughts – The story of the cuckoo in the nest, the child who seems to bring discord and fear with them, is not new, but this book handled the topic well and with enough points of difference to make it intriguing. Cat being a medical expert in the field of childhood psychopathy was an interesting characterisation, and there was a lot of details from her work that really worked effectively into the story.

84. You be Mother – Meg Mason
Story – All Abi has ever wanted was a proper family of her own. So when she finds herself unexpectedly pregnant by an Australian exchange student, she is happy to head off to Australia with baby Jude to try and make a go of it with Stu. But motherhood is confusing and when Abi’s relationship with Stu founders, she finds herself increasingly drawn to Phil, the motherly woman who lives in the house next door.
Thoughts – This book was a lovely little read. The story was rambling, with a nice relaxed pace to it, and characters that were relatable and likeable. I especially liked Abi, although I was not quite as fond of Phil as I think I was supposed to be? Just a good book about families, and making your own.

83. The Choice – Samantha King
Story – On the morning of her twins’ 10th birthday Madeleine faced every parent’s worst nightmare when a masked gunman forced his way into her house, pointed his weapon at her children and told her to choose. Now it is afterwards, and Madeleine struggles to come to terms with what happened that morning and the events leading up to it.
Thoughts – Meh. It was okay at the start, it’s obviously a high pressure situation that forces you to be interested, but the further along the book went the more it just seemed to lose momentum. And actually, became pretty ridiculous – not a recommend here.

82. Almost Sisters – Joshilyn Jackson
Story – A comic book writer and artist, Leia Birch-Briggs has always had a thing for superheroes. A drunken night at Comicon with a masked Batman fits right in with that, but the night leaves Leia with more than a hangover – she’s pregnant with a baby boy. Before she can share the news of her anticipated bi-racial baby with her traditional family (or even think about how to find someone whose name she does not know, and how she didn’t even see without a mask on) Leia is called back to the traditional southern town her grandmother rules over. It turns out that ninety year old Birchie is suffering increasingly with dementia, and life in the gentle South is running far from smoothly.
Thoughts – I was nearly put off reading this book because of the author’s name. Joshilyn Jackson…it just sounded like a made up name for a romance writer, and I’m not really a romance reader. How embarrassingly shallow of me. However I read the book, enjoyed it a lot, and have now promised not to judge future books by author’s names. Leia was a great character, and her Batman was exactly the kind of guy that you hope your illegitimate baby’s father turns out to be. I liked the descriptions of the town and the characters in it, and I liked the emphasis on family even when it’s unconventional. She might have a crazy name, but I would definitely pick up this author’s work another time.

81. Child Taken – Darren Young
Story – Twenty years ago, two year old Jessica Preston went missing during a day out at the beach. The official consensus is that the child wandered away into the water and drowned, but Jessica’s mother Sandra has never believed that, always maintaining that someone took her daughter that day. Now another child has gone missing, and a young reporter approaches Sandra, wanting to write about her story.
Thoughts – You know, I think this book might have done it. This might be the book that finally pushes me over the edge into not finishing books that I think are rubbish. Because I was probably about 10% of the way into this and thought that it wasn’t really that good. I got to about 20% and it was only getting worse, then at 25% I was really questioning my choices with this…but I just kept reading! And it never got any better! I had to force myself to read every single page of this ridiculous book, and I don’t know why! I have THOUSANDS of books I could read, I really have to change my thinking that there’s anything virtuous in soldiering on to the bitter end. If something is boring and shows no sign of improving, I need to just ditch it and move on. I do not have enough reading years left in my life to waste them on shitty books.

80. Blood Sisters – Jane Corry
Story – Alison and Kitty are sisters living separate lives. Kitty is in a care home, unable to speak and requiring constant care. Alison is an art teacher, who takes on a job teaching in a prison, hoping to make amends for the secrets of the past that tie her and Kitty together.
Thoughts – There were some fairly unrealistic moments in this book, but also some really good elements that made up for it a bit. Although Kitty herself was pretty unpleasant in a lot of ways (can’t blame her for that) it’s unusual to have a severely disabled person as a main character and I thought that was well done. It was the relationship between the sisters, between Alison and her father, and with their mother, that were the most interesting to me, rather than the mystery of the past and the revenge.

79. Standard Deviation – Katherine Heiny
Story – Graham Cavanaugh’s second wife Audra is the opposite of his first wife – she’s extroverted and cheerful and messy and makes friends with everyone she meets. She is a wonderful mother to their Asperger son Matthew, and somehow, through sheer force of personality, she begins to draw Graham’s first wife Evelyn into their social circle.
Thoughts – This was a funny, quirky, and quite delightful book. The plot didn’t seem to have much point, it was rather meandering, but I never felt impatient with the story or the pacing. The characters were all good, although I did feel a particular affinity with the son Matthew, and the members of his origami club – I do like reading about Aspies.

78. The Room By the Lake – Emma Dibdin.
Story – With Caitlin feeling overwhelmed by her grief over her mother’s dead and her pain over her father’s drinking, she runs from London to New York to get away. Lost and alone she meets Jake, who offers to take her to stay with his family in an isolated property by a lake. At first this seems like the answer she’s been looking for, but there is more going on than it seems, and Caitlin risks losing more than she could ever have foreseen.
Thoughts – This was an interesting story about how someone gets caught up in a cult. Caitlin was a fairly sympathetic character, and although there were a few questionable decisions on her part I didn’t feel like smacking myself in the head over her naivety like with some books on cults! The one thing that I wondered about was what the ultimate aim of the cult was, since there was not a religious theme tying it all together.

77. Bad Little Girl – Frances Vick
Story – Claire is a teacher at a disadvantaged inner city school when a little girl named Lorna comes to her attention. Neglected and known to come from a bad family the child is regarded with suspicion by most people, but Claire is sure that Lorna can’t be as bad as the general rumours would say. Claire takes Lorna under her wing and tries to help her, but events seem to take on a life of their own and Claire must uncover the truth about Lorna – is she simply neglected and damaged, or is their badness of a different kind?
Thoughts – A novel of bad decisions by the main character Claire, really! But it was still an interesting book and quite thought provoking in terms of the narratives around children based on their circumstances. I think it was also quite well done in terms of making Claire’s bad decisions at least understandable, given her grief over her mother. It wasn’t really a gripping psychological thriller, but it wasn’t a bad read either.

76. The Caller – Chris Carter
Story – People are answering their phones to find a brutal, merciless killer on the other end. Unless they can answer two questions, the loved one the killer had captive is going to be punished, in ways too horrific to contemplate.
Thoughts – Another Robert Hunter police mystery. These are always really good, and also really kind of sickening in terms of the ways people are killed! But if you can handle the gruesome, they’re a good read.

75. Dead Jealous – Helen H Durrant
Story – Two separate mysteries on the same estate. A girl’s body, found dead and stuffed in the boot of a car. A jar of ashes and tiny bits of bone, found hidden in a fireplace during a house remodel. And a whole estate of people who know more than they’re telling.
Thoughts – This was quite interesting, but it also came across as a police investigation without any urgency. While there was technically a killer still on the loose throughout, no one was in any particular danger, there was no sense of time running out or anything, and there were an awful lot of conversations with suspects and witnesses and potential suspects that just kind of went nowhere.

74. Liar – KL Slater
Story – Single dad Ben is doing his best to raise his family, with the help of his devoted mother Judi. Everyone misses Ben’s wife and the children’s mother, but they are all managing well. Until Ben meets Amber. She seems charming and attentive to Ben and the boys, but there is something about her that Judi finds concerning. And there is nothing that Judi wouldn’t do if her family was at risk.
Thoughts – This book was excellent. The premise is not wildly original, but it was done so well that I was intrigued the whole time. A really good psychological thriller.

73. Obsession – Amanda Robson
Story – Carly and Rob are on holidays when she asks him a simple question – who else would you be attracted to? Rob eventually answers and gives the name of a family friend, Jenni, little knowing what the repercussions of this game will be.
Thoughts – This book was so bad. I got about ten percent into it and wanted to throw it in…I should have! Instead I persevered for about 400 more pages, and regretted it more every single one. The characters were ridiculous and the story was ridiculous and I couldn’t wait to finish it, just to get it over with.

72. Stuff I Forgot to Tell My Daughter – Michele A’Court
Story – Michele is a New Zealander comedian, who realised when her daughter Holly left home that sometimes she was so caught up in the day to day busyness of being a mum that she forgot about things she wanted to tell her daughter – important things, about feminism and kindness and how not to get runs in your stockings. So she began to write, what was first a stand up routine and then became this book.
Thoughts – This was lovely. Michele’s voice was so funny and caring and kind that I don’t know if I want her to by friend or my mum! I loved her premise, because it’s really true that the days become all about doing the washing and signing school notes, helping with homework and making sure people eat their vegetables. And there are still all those big picture things that you want your child to know and understand and remember as they go out into the big wide world.

71. Final Girls – Riley Sager
Story – In horror movies, the ‘final girl’ is the one who survives the massacre. In the movies, they go on with their lives. But for the real final girls, Quincy, Sam and Lisa, all survivors of brutal mass slayings, moving on with their lives isn’t as easy as that. And then one of the final girls is killed, and things begin to look a lot darker for those who remain.
Thoughts – This one was good and bad. I didn’t see the ending coming, so that was good. It was well written, I was very engaged in the story, so that was good. It was really just the behaviour of some of the characters that pushed the bounds of credibility and pulled me out of the story a little, as I just had to roll my eyes because who does that? However I really liked the premise and the writing was good, so I’d definitely be interested to read something else by this author.

70. Every Last Lie – Mary Kubica
Story – Clara’s world has shattered. Just days after giving birth to their son, her husband is killed in a single car collision. Her daughter Maisie survives unhurt, but soon after begins to deal with terrors about “the bad man” chasing her. Between Maisie and other facts that come to light, Clara begins to wonder if she ever really knew Nick, and if maybe something more than her husband’s speed was responsible for the crash.
Thoughts – This story just did not hang together for me at all. Unless Clara was suffering from some sort of post-partum psychosis, it made no sense that she was so convinced that someone killed her husband. Maisie (who is now the fictional child I would least like to meet in reality – she was the biggest brat ever) didn’t say anything that made such conclusions obvious, and there was so much evidence to the contrary. I mean yes, Nick was keeping secrets, but it just didn’t seem to jive with what Clara had going on in her head about him being killed. Plus, the bit at the end where Clara belts into someone with a baseball bat? That would send you to prison, why was the next page an epilogue where she’s all fine and happy? It just makes no sense!

69. The Child – Fiona Barton
Story – Demolition of an old house in London leads to the discovery of a newborn baby skeleton, wrapped and buried. The news will change the lives of three women – Kate, the journalist; Alice, whose infant daughter disappeared decades ago; and Emma, who had once lived in the house.
Thoughts – This was was surprisingly good. It was a mystery that unfolded over the course of the book, but it was also really character driven. All the characters were well developed and having their different perspectives in the book really worked. I particularly enjoyed reading about Kate, who as a journalist could be extremely tenacious and not always completely above board, but who was also caring and supportive. It was a point of difference in this book that, although it was a crime mystery, the main characters were not police officers and I enjoyed this alternate viewpoint.

68. He Said, She Said – Erin Kelly
Story – Kit has been an eclipse chaser his whole life, drawing his girlfriend Laura into his fascination. But while attending a festival to celebrate a total solar eclipse, Laura and Kit witness an assault. Afterwards they call the police and become integral witnesses in the ensuing court case, thinking that they are doing the right thing and that once it’s done, they will be able to put it behind them and move on. But the consequences of that eclipse will ripple out for years, changing Kit and Laura’s lives forever.
Thoughts – Potentially unreliable narrators, and overlapping timelines made this story fast moving and engaging. I didn’t really connect with the characters that much, but as a psychological suspense book it worked.

67. Unmentionable – Therese Oneil
Story – A non-fiction book, conversational and humorous about the realities of Victorian womanhood – clothes and sex and toilets and what do you do in an era of no sanitary pads?
Thoughts – I loved this book. I love history made real, and this was very real! It was a fun look at what was really going on in all those Jane Austen, Victorian romances…it’s all very lovely from the outside, but no panties and no baths and food that hasn’t been living up to current handling and refrigeration guidelines means it’s not all that reflective of what it was really like for girls of that era!

66. The Shape of Us – Lisa Ireland
Story – This is the story of Ellie, Mezz, Jewels and Kat, who meet through an online weight loss forum and share their lives, becoming even more than friends as they support each other through life-changing events.
Thoughts – This was good. Relatable, in terms of the weight loss goals of the women and their successes and failures in that area. A little predictable in the way that each of them took different paths in respect to their weight loss and self image, but still a solid book about friendship and living life for what matters.

65. Sometimes Amazing Things Happen – Elizabeth Ford
Story – A memoir of being the psychiatrist in charge of the prison ward of Bellevue Hospital, which took the most unwell prisoners from Rikers Island.
Thoughts – The American health care system is such a disaster, and having to work it in conjunction with the department of corrections really doesn’t help that. This was interesting though, reading about the kind of mental illnesses she was dealing with, and the way prison and hospital go together. I am quite interested in working in corrections, and this was a good look at another aspect of that.

64. Girl Last Seen – Nina Laurin
Story – For years, Lainey has searched the faces of missing girls, looking for something that she doesn’t even know. Until she sees the flier for missing Olivia Shaw, who is the same age and has the same look that Lainey had years ago, when she was Ella and had the unspeakable happen to her. Lainey doesn’t want to get involved, but a face from her past reappears and she finds herself drawn in, far more involved than she ever wanted to be as the search for Olivia intensifies.
Thoughts – This book was good. It could have easily gone for gratuitous shock scenes, but it kept it more towards characterisation and suspense and I think that was a good choice on the author’s part. Lainey was an interesting and sympathetic character, even with all her bad choices, and I cared what happened to her. For a crime book this one had quite a bit of heart, I guess, and I’d read another book by this author if I came across it.

63. Hunger – Roxane Gay
Story – A memoir of sexual assault, weight and body image, and how we deal with the hunger of our bodies and the hunger of our souls.
Thoughts – This book was talked about in the media, as Australian Mia Freedman had Roxane Gay on her podcast and talked about having to make accommodations for a woman of her size, in a way that basically blew up in the media. So I was curious to read the book at the centre of the whole thing. However, it was so crushingly sad! It is sickening to think about what Roxane went through, and how many girls and women are forced to endure similar experiences. The book talks about her rape, and the years of self-loathing and self- sabotage that followed as she struggled to deal with what happened and live a good life. It was well written and insightful and something I’m very glad I read, but it was a really hard one to get through for me.

62. Sisters and Lies – Bernice Barrington
Story – Rachel answers the phone to the call that everyone fears- someone they love (in her case, her younger sister Evie) has been in a car accident and is in hospital in a coma. Rachel goes to Evie’s side, but her questions about how her sister’s accident happened don’t have any satisfactory answers. Digging deeper she begins to discover all the things that Evie has been keeping secret, and Rachel wonders if she even knew her sister at all.
Thoughts – I have a particular interest in stories about sisters, and this book was well-written and interesting enough. It also dealt with mental illness, although this was not mentioned in the blurb, and became more of an issue towards the end of the book. I enjoyed it while I was reading it, but I found some major elements to be somewhat implausible and ultimately left me feeling pretty non committal about it.

61. Sixth Grade Secrets – Louis Sachar
Story – Laura starts a secret club at school, making all the other members give her something secret or embarrassing as ‘insurance’ that they won’t tell. Because of course, this can only end well….
Thoughts – I read this book in primary school, we all thought it was really cool and passed it around so that everyone could read it, ha ha ha. So of course I had to snap it up when I came across it now, and actually it has stood the test of time pretty well- I think kids today would find it as engaging as I did when I was eleven.

60. We are Never Meeting in Real Life – Samantha Irby
Story – A collection of essay by a black female writer/comedian.
Thoughts – I gave this a try, even though I had never heard of the writer before. In the end I am pretty neutral on it – I think that overall I found the tone too dark and negative, although there were some funny parts and other times that were really raw and vulnerable.

59. Max – Sarah Cohen-Scali
Story – The life story of “Max”, a child born and raised within the ideals of the Nazi party, to be the great future of the Aryan race.
Thoughts – Considering that this book opened with a sentient foetus narrating his birth, it’s a weird book. Max is born in a special home as part of the ‘Lebensborn’ program, where ‘racially pure’ women were encouraged to birth perfect little Aryan babies who were then fostered or adopted by higher ranked Nazi families. (I did not know until this book that this is a true thing that occurred- unwed mothers were encouraged to give up their babies, Germanic looking women in occupied countries (particularly the Scandinavian areas) were also encouraged to breed for the Nazi, some orphan children were taken, and even some children kidnapped.) Learning about the Lebensborn program was fascinating and the final section in Berlin painted a vivid picture of the city ruined at the end of the war, but the story was uneven and really asked for too much suspension of disbelief.

58. Listen to Your Mother- Ann Imig (ed)
Story – Essays by a variety of writers about the concept of motherhood.
Thoughts – I liked this one quite a lot. Short, thought provoking chapters looking at the subject from a really wide range of perspectives.

57. The Day the Nazis Came- Stephen Matthews
Story – Stephen Matthews was a child living in Guernsey during the second world war. The Nazis occupied the Channel Islands and Stephen’s family, along with a large group of other islanders, were deported to an internment camp in Germany.
Thoughts – This was a really interesting story, but it was written in such a jolly English way that it seemed to lack a little heart. I hadn’t known about German internment camps- I thought it was all actively trying to kill people in concentration camps for the Nazis. In this camp they were not made to work, they had food (although poor) and were given Red Cross parcels regularly. It is so hard to comprehend how difficult those years were, and how many families were separated and struggling.

56. No Apparent Distress – Rachel Pearson
Story – The true story of a medical student, studying and working in poverty stricken neighbours in post-flood Galveston, Texas.
Thoughts – This book was so depressing. American healthcare is appalling- this book is very clear about how it fails, and the devastating impact on families and individuals. I cannot imagine living in a country that boasts proudly of being a world leader, and yet lets its own citizens die of treatable illnesses because of lack of insurance.

55. The Trick Jumpers – Josephine Pullein-Thomson
Story– To raise money at the village fair, a group of children band together to put on a trick jumping exhibition.
Thoughts – Sometimes, you just want to read a pony book. So I did, and it was perfect. The Pullein-Thomson pony books are my favourites (after the Jill books).

54. Mid-Life Ex-Wife – Stella Grey
Story – The story of a 50 year old ex-wife and her journey through the world of online dating in search of love.
Thoughts – I really enjoyed this. I would never have been so brave as to keep putting myself out there like that, so I sincerely hope I never end up alone at fifty! Parts of it were funny, but it was also quite a serious and introspective reflection, which gave a really insightful look at the topic. Definitely worth a read.

53. Dear Hank Williams – Kimberly Willis Holt
Story – Tate’s teacher sets the class an assignment to write to a penpal, and Tate chooses Hank Williams, a country singer she hears on the Louisiana Hayride radio show. Through Tate’s letters we get to know her and her family, and see the stories and heartbreaks that make up their lives.
Thoughts – This kids’ book was a touching surprise. Beautifully written in terms of time and place and character- I loved the idioms and the way Tate’s worldview was shaped by her environment. A sweet, sad and lovely book that I’m glad I read.

52. Bipolar Disorder, the Other Depression – Robert Grieco
Story – Non fiction book about bipolar disorder, with a large focus on the depression side of it.
Thoughts – This didn’t really present me with any new information, but it was still a good read. It talked in depth about how hypomania can present very briefly, which is relevant to my experiences. It also talked a lot about anxiety as a facet of bipolar disorder, which is also something that I feel reflects my personal experience.

51. The Polygamist’s Daughter – Anna LeBaron
Story – The true story of Anna LeBaron, whose father Ervil LeBaron was the leader of a murderous polygamist community.
Thoughts – Fundamental polygamist sects are both horrifying and fascinating. Anna was one of more than fifty children born to LeBaron, and the poverty and harshness those children grew up with is deeply disturbing. Anna spent a lot of time being passed around to various family members in the USA and Mexico (and in those cults practically everyone is family in some way) as her father and other members of the cult were on the run from the FBI. Anna eventually found the strength to leave, and was lucky enough to have people who were willing to help her. One of the things that I found most interesting about this book was that it didn’t end at Anna’s escape, and she wrote a little about how her relationship with her mother (who still believes in polygamy) has changed and developed over the years since her escaped.

50. The Awkward Age – Francesca Segal
Story – Julia can’t believe that she has been so lucky as to find a second chance at love with James. But there’s a shadow in paradise- her daughter Gwen dislikes and despises her new quasi-stepfather and his son, and Julia has to admit that she is not so fond of Nathanial herself. But then a family holiday that starts with arguments and tensions ends with something even worse, when Nathaniel and Gwen go from fighting to kissing, and then a bit more. All Julia had wanted was for everyone to get along, but this has gone too far and now the whole structure of her new happiness is threatened.
Thoughts – I actually liked this one quite a lot. It felt real to me- real characters, real relationships, real problems driving the action. It was interesting, and I wanted to keep reading to find out what would happen. Although the characters could be somewhat frustrating at times- Gwen was pretty much a brat fairly often, and both parents were blind to their own children’s faults. I can’t help wondering what my reaction would be in that situation though- how do you blend a family when you’re still on opposing teams like that?

49. As Nature Made Him – John Colapinto
Story – Bruce and Brian were identical, 8 months old twin boys when they went to hospital for what should have been a simple circumcision. But an accident during surgery made it anything but routine for baby Bruce, who sustained an injury that essentially amputated his penis. Under the supervision of scientist John Money, Bruce’s parents did what they believed was best- Bruce was castrated and raised as a girl named Brenda, who had no idea that she had had her sex reassigned. With Brian there as the perfect ‘control subject’, Money looked to the twins case to prove his theory that gender identity was a matter of socialisation more than biology. Tragically for ‘Brenda’ though, no amount of socialisation could change his innate belief that he was not meant to be a girl and that something about him and his life was very, very wrong. At fourteen, after suicide attempts, ‘Brenda’ was told the truth and immediately took her place in the family as a boy named David.
Thoughts – This was an amazing story to read. David’s stubborn refusal to be the girl that he was ‘supposed to be’, in terms of mannerisms, dress, beliefs and genital surgeries, is awe inspiring. He was basically just a little kid, with all the doctors, psychiatrists, his parents etc all pressuring him to take the hormones and undergo the surgery that would ‘fix’ his genitals (which had been left as a fairly rudimentary female shape after the castration) and he just clung to his own belief about what was real for him. This book was also kind of horrific in terms of what was done to David, and other babies who suffered similar accidents, or were born with ambiguous genitals, even after intersex people and people who had been reassigned sex as babies were speaking out against the practice. The book was a really fascinating look at gender and sex and our personal identities and influences. Highly recommend.

48. Finders Keepers – Belinda Bauer
Story – Children are disappearing on Exmoor. Taken from their cars with a simple, chilling note left behind. You don’t love them.
Thoughts – I didn’t realise until I was reading it that this was the third book in a trilogy, so there was a lot of things in the story that lacked context for me. The mystery itself was easy to follow though, and I certainly didn’t pick the perpetrator- I doubt anyone would. And usually that’s a good thing, but I just found the actual reason and what was happening to be just not quite believable.

47. Confessions of a High School Disaster – Emma Chastain
Story – The diary of freshman Chloe as she navigates her first year of high school, including friends, enemies, boys, the school musical, and family.
Thoughts – This book was a gorgeous surprise. I started reading it expecting it to be a basic high school diary book, pretty fluffy and cute but not much more to it, but it was honestly better than that. I mean, it IS fluffy and cute and fairly predictable, but it wrote the character of Chloe so well! She was so real, and so relatable and likeable that I actually finished the book wishing that there was a sequel, just because I didn’t want to stop reading her diary.

46. Summer of Fear – Lois Duncan
Story – Rachel is settling in for a long, relaxing summer when tragedy strikes distant family and her cousin Julia moves in. At first Rachel is keen to make her cousin feel welcome, but there is something about Julia that makes Rachel uneasy, something dark, something that terrifies Rae but that that no one else seems to feel at all…
Thoughts – I read this book when I was in primary school and it SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME. I cannot emphasis enough how utterly terrified by it I was! I didn’t even like looking at the spine when I was searching for something to read at the library, let alone touching it!
However I reread it when I was at high school, (and supposedly older and braver) and although it always creeped me out I also kind of loved it- this was probably the first book I ever read where I thought that fear could be a little bit fun too. Rereading it now as an adult I still think it’s creepy, and I still think it’s fantastic- definitely worth another look for me.

45.Survivors Club – Michael Bornstein
Story – When the Soviets entered the Auschwitz death camp they found just over 7000 prisoners still there, mostly sick and dying Jews, a tiny fraction of the millions that had been sent there. But within that tiny fraction was an even smaller group- 52 children under eight years old, who had somehow managed to survive. One of those was four year old Michael Bornstein from Poland.
Thoughts – I have read so many Holocaust memoirs, and for all of the horror and brutality that makes me feel so sick and scared, there are these amazing stories of survival that make me believe so much in people’s own inner strength. They are also stories of fantastic luck and crazy coincidences, because to survive the Nazi death machine was damn near impossible, and yet people did. Even, in this case, a child. Born in a ghetto, moved to a factory camp, taken to Auschwitz and tattooed, put in a children’s barracks, smuggled out of there and hidden by his mother and grandmother, sick enough to be taken to the infirmary and yet strong enough to survive his illness, advised by a doctor to stay there as the camp was emptied out, to wait for Soviet liberation…if it was fiction you wouldn’t believe it, but it DID happen and it made for an absolutely compelling book. (Not to mention the front cover, a photograph the Soviet liberating troops took of the miniscule number of children they found in the camp, with Michael’s tiny little face down in the front corner.)

45. The Missing Ones – Patricia Gibney
Story – A body is found in a church, strangled. A body is found hanging in a tree. Both have the same tattoo on their thighs, but what is the connection? Detective Lottie Parker’s investigation takes her back into the past, and comes with a chilling link to her own life.
Thoughts – There was just way too much going on in this book. It’s the first one in a series, so some of it was just needing to set the scene and introduce ongoing characters I think, but I found it a bit excessive. I would read the second book in the series if I came across it, but I probably wouldn’t really seek it out.

44. Forever or a Long, Long Time- Caela Carter
Story – Flora and her brother Julian don’t believe they were ever born. Years in various foster homes mean that there aren’t any stories about where they came from and when they were babies, so they make up their own. Now they’ve been adopted and their new mom says it’s forever, but when you don’t have a past it’s hard to believe in a future. So Flora, Julian and their new mom are going on a journey to try and find the answers.
Thoughts – I was looking forward to reading this book because the author’s first book (My Life With the Liars) was so brilliant, and it didn’t disappoint. There was just such a touching vulnerability about Flora, and all her confused thoughts and beliefs and tentative hopes. I wanted just to scoop her up and hug her, and then I wished that I could do something for all the other Floras and Julians who don’t have homes…heartbreaking and beautiful book.

43. A Corner of the Universe – Ann M. Martin
Story – Hattie’s life is turned upside down when Adam, an uncle she knew nothing about, comes home from his school to spend the summer with family. Despite his odd behaviour and manner Hattie accepts Adam as he is, and the two of them spend time together that will change Hattie’s view of the world and her family.
Thoughts – I really wanted to love this, because it’s Ann M Martin! And it was very good in some ways, with a beautiful sense of time and place, but it ultimately felt dissatisfying. I think Adam was meant to be autistic, although it wasn’t spelled out, and he was written well. It was Hattie that I think I just didn’t quite connect with – probably one of those times when a book written for kids just isn’t quite working for me as an adult.

42. Beswitched – Kate Saunders
Story – When Flora Fox is reluctantly on her way to boarding school, she isn’t expecting to like it. But what she REALLY isn’t expecting is a timeslip that lands her in 1935, and at a boarding school that isn’t anything like the one that she thought she’d be getting!
Thoughts – I loved this. Funny thing, as a kid I started writing pretty much this exact storyline, of a modern heroine in a Malory Towers-esque universe- obviously I should have stuck with it! This was just a really fun read for me, with cute characters and so much historical era slang in the boarding school, really enjoyable.

41. One Little Mistake – Emma Curtis
40. Weekends at Bellevue – Julie Holland
39. Last Night I Sang to the Monster – Benjamin Alire Saenz
38. Among the Dolls – William Sleator
47. The Missing Ones – Patricia Gibney
36. The Burning- Jane Casey
35. See If I Care – Judi Curtin and Roisin Meaney
34. Sister Sister – Sue Fortin
33. Ghost Child- Caroline Overington
32. The Child Snatcher – Aria Johnson
31. Locked in Time- Lois Duncan
30. Things Unsaid – Diana V Paul
29. Silent Child – Sarah A Denzil
28. Behind her Eyes – Sarah Pinborough
27. Ruby’s Tuesday – Gillian Binchy
26. The Golden Child – Wendy James
25. Snowbirds – Crissa-Jean Chappell
24. Night – Elie Wiesel
23. Next Year for Sure – Zoey Leigh Peterson
22. My Sister’s Child – Caroline Finnerty
21. Dead Until Dark – Charlaine Harris
20. Rose Under Fire – Elizabeth Wein
19. Their Crime was Being Jewish – Anthony S. Pitch
18. The Pharmacist of Auschwitz – Patricia Posner
17. The Fifth Letter – Nicola Moriarty
16. Grey – E.L. James
15. A Necessary End – Holly Brown
14. The Space Between Us – Megan Hart
13. This is How it Always Is – Laurie Frankel
12. The Hypnotist’s Love Story – Liane Moriarty
11. Raising Cubby – John Elder Robison
10. Homecoming – Rob Aspinall
9. Creatures of the Rock – Andrew Peacock
8. City Mouse – Stacey Lender
7. Between Sisters – Cathy Kelly
6. See Me Not – Janelle Harris
5. The Far End of Happy – Kathryn Craft
4. Maybe in Another Life – Taylor Jenkins Reid
3. Tell No One Who You Are – Regine Miller
2. The Bad Things – Mary Jane Riley
1. Hollow Men – Rob McCarthy

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