Wednesday 26th July 2017

Why is everything I want so expensive? And why do I want so much stuff in the first place? I just bought a HOUSE, I shouldn’t be suddenly so obsessed with buying more stuff!

Although I think a new clothes dryer is a legitimate want. Ours is so loud that it’s been banished to the garage, but it’s still loud enough to interfere with tv watching and hearing people in another room. It is also going practically all day at this point, so the noise almost never stops. I just want some peace and quiet.

I went out to Benita and Cam’s this morning, and had a lovely long snuggle with Alby. There is nothing sweeter than a silky soft wee baby head.

It feels quite odd watching Benita with all her little ones though- like a little window into my past, when I had small ones at home. It is also funny that it makes me both incredibly nostalgic for that time, and also incredibly relieved that it’s over and my kids are so much more self sufficient! I mean, I was there for about two hours and in that time Benita and/or Cam had to feed Alby twice, change his nappy, change Dempsey, serve snacks, pick up textas about three times, read some books with Winnie, stop Dempsey playing with the washing machine and the dryer, stop Dempsey drawing on things or eating the textas, pick up a bunch of play food, send Winnie to her room for kicking Dempsey off a chair, comfort Dempsey (okay, I did that- he’s irresistible), and just listen and encourage and answer a million questions. It’s nuts. I suppose I did it for years, but it’s quite eye opening to watch someone else do it.

In contrast, I met my children after school and we all walked home, talking about what they learned at school. At home they all put their lunch containers in the box to be washed, their lunchboxes away in the pantry, their school bags away in their rooms. If they need to go to the toilet, they do so without needing any help with it. Jericho and Soren put the recycling out. The ones who had homework did it, also without my help. Children jumped on the trampoline without needing supervision. While I made tea, one of them ran the bath then they all got in and out and into pyjamas. They put their washing away. We ate tea, then Nicholai and Emma finished loading the dishwasher while Jericho and Soren brushed their teeth. Everyone sat down and read to themselves, then Jericho and Soren said goodnight and went to bed. Admittedly this was an exceptionally smooth afternoon and evening (no fighting, homework was simple and didn’t take too long, they’d had good days at school, the weather was good for outside play, no one objected to what we were having for tea) but even so the day-to-day things are really so much easier than when they were little!

I guess it’s hard in different ways though, with different things to worry about as they get older. And every stage has its own rewards- I don’t want to miss any of it.

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