Tuesday 11 July 2017

Settlement went through on our Yarra Glen house today, so now it’s all official and all done.

Unfortunately this coincided with me having a day of feeling really low, and like this whole thing has been a huge mistake and I’m an idiot for even contemplating it, let alone carrying through on such a foolish plan. Ugh. So it wasn’t the greatest day ever. I don’t know, I think I’m mostly just tired since I’m not sleeping well.

I miss Troy too, and it now seems like he’ll be spending more time away than I thought he would. It was supposed to be one night a week with the occasional extra night, but it was two nights last week and three nights this week and now he’s saying that it should settle into a one night a week deal ‘in a few weeks’. I mean, it shouldn’t be that big a deal and of course I’ll manage, and really I have no reason to complain, but it all felt a bit depressing today.

Anyway, I’ll get over it. I’ve hung up some pictures around the house now, and put out my Indo puppets, and I like how that looks. I also made my bed with one of the new Ikea doona covers, and that’ s a lovely change to the room. We got the carpet runner for the entrance hall, so that’s currently taped down (with flouro orange tape, for that subtle look) to make it lie flat.

I really wanted to get the trampoline today since we have the money from selling the other house, but it’s in a different bank account to the everyday one, so I couldn’t. I think that’s part of what I’m feeling a bit blah about- I feel like I am some kind of idiot who has basically misunderstood everything about this whole process and our finances. So, no trampoline yet. Although Nicholai helped me measure the part of the backyard the trampoline will go in so at least now I know what size to get.

I might not have had enough money for trampolines, but I did have enough money for underwear and that’s what I went shopping for this afternoon. The kids have needed new stuff for ages, but I’ve just been putting it off since it was all of them who needed it and that adds up to quite a lot of underwear! So this afternoon I took Emma and we went to Big W and bought twenty nine pairs of undies and five bras. The best part about buying it for all the kids at the same time is that I can colour code the boys’ undies so that I know whose is whose without having to read the tag size.

Emma was collecting Pokestops as we drove home and she saw that there was a raid battle starting up, so I pulled over and the two of us battled. It was hilarious how excited we both got- we were SO close to defeating the giant Muk! Like when it ended we didn’t know if it was because time had run out or because we had won, it all seemed to happen simultaneously. We didn’t win, and then as we drove away I said to Emma, “I don’t think I’m mature enough to be a mother,” and we both started laughing again. I really do love my girl.