I packed seven more boxes of books this morning. I stopped because I ran out of boxes, not because I ran out of books. I am still trying to get rid of things- as I pack I am literally holding every single book and staring at the cover asking myself do I really want this? Admittedly the answer is mostly yes I do! but there is also a slowly growing pile of books to donate so I’m hopeful that we will actually be able to fit all the books we have left in our new house.
I wrote a resignation letter yesterday, which made me cry. It really drove home to me that this thing we’re doing is going to be really, really hard. I’m giving up my job, and the chance of finding another one similar is infinitesimally small. We’re obviously gaining things, and we’ve made the decision that we think is best overall, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t things that we’re going to lose alongside of it, and some of them are important.
I have accepted the fact that I am going to really have to coordinate this move myself, and so I’m stomping through my usual i-don’t-want-to about calling people and asking for assistance or favours or whatever. I hate talking on the phone or arranging things, but no one else is doing to do it if I don’t, so I really have no other option.
So far I’ve contacted three removalist firms and got two quotes for the move, I’ve booked a goodbye party at the Hedgend Maze to play laser skirmish, and I called the new primary school and made an appointment for us to go for a tour and get all the enrolment information on Monday. I contacted the high school too, but we have to fill in enrolment forms and send them in, and then a vice-principal will get in touch with us to arrange a visit, and work out the children’s subjects and such things.
I’ve started knitting a scarf in anticipation of our move to colder climes. I should be making Troy gloves- I said I would and I have even bought a pattern and some suitable yarn, but honestly I am just finding the idea of gloves so fiddly and intimidating. A scarf seems so simple and straightforward.
I had so many things to say, but I’ve taken some Valium and now I can’t really think of them. It’s been a tough couple of days- I think this whole process is going to be harder than I thought.
But then, I clean through boxes of things out in the shed, and I find things like this. And it makes me think that life is beautiful and funny, that we have come a long way together and we will get through this too.
It’s Emma’s four year old kinder photo- my beautiful girl.