Tuesday 18 April 2017

Soren is so sad about moving. It’s horrible, and I feel like a monster for doing this to him.

I had printed out the internet listing for the house so that the kids could show it to their grandparents and cousins on the weekend, and today Jericho and Soren each took a copy to school. I happened to be in Soren’s room before school when he showed it to his teacher (I needed her art room keys) and he just held it out to her and his little face was just quivering with misery. I went in and sat down and he just about climbed up onto my lap to sob into my neck. It was awful. He is just so sad- he loves his school and his friends and his teacher and his grandparents and his swimming lessons and his cousins and he’s so sad to let that go, and so scared of what’s going to replace it.

The worst part about it is that there’s almost nothing that I can do about it. His life IS going to change. I’m sure he will still see his grandparents and his cousins fairly regularly, and he will make new friends and have fun at a different school, but it’s not going to be the same. There will be lots of positives about this change, but I think he’s just having a really hard time seeing it, and it’s not until it happens that it’s going to feel real to him. We’ve been open with him in talking about his fears, and we’re reassuring him as much as possible by talking about what we can do about those things. We’ve told him as much as we know about when things will happen and what it might be like, but so much of it is just having to wait and see. And for Soren, that’s an awfully long time to be scared and sad.

Ugh, I know that we’ve made a decision based on what’s best for all of us as a whole, but damn my heart hurts at what I’m going to my baby little one. He will be fine in the end, but the idea of watching him feel this way for the next two-three months makes me want to cry too.

The only silver lining to this cloud of Soren’s sadness is that Jericho is being optimistic about the move in an effort to cheer Soren up. And for my anxiety-ridden-bundle-of-nerves-Jericho, thinking about someone else is the absolutely best thing for him in coping with this change. He doesn’t like Soren to be sad, so he keeps talking about the things that they’re looking forward to about moving (like having their own rooms, and the wall mounted tvs, and walking to the new school).

With the kids back at school and Troy back at work, today felt peculiarly quiet at home! I actually went into school in the morning and painted all the papier mache masks white so that the kids can paint the designs on them on Friday without having all the newsprint show through. Some of them are extremely fragile, as they didn’t really get enough layers on, but they’ll just have to do the best they can with what they’ve got.

I came home and washed and sorted a million loads of laundry and mopped the kitchen and vacuumed- someone is coming to see the house tomorrow, so I’m back to cleaning like a maniac.

Bill the real estate agent came round in the evening to have us sign the contract about him being our agent. He’s going to come back tomorrow morning to have a look at the house in daylight and tell us what we need to do to have photos taken of it, so hopefully that will go well. (As in, I hope that there’s not a lot of stuff that he wants us to do!) Apparently the person coming to look tomorrow is very interested in developing the backyard, ugh. I mean, ultimately I don’t care what they do if they pay me enough money first, but the idea of our backyard being chopped in half is not a particularly pleasant one.

Emma is getting used to her braces, but it’s difficult. She bought home the Anzac biscuits she had for recess snack because they were too tough and chewy for her to eat, and she took about an hour to eat a bowl of nachos tonight. She also can’t eat apples, which have always been a staple part of her diet, so that’s depressing for her. She doesn’t complain though- I know I always say this but I am so in awe of the way she is growing up and the person she is.

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One thought on “Tuesday 18 April 2017

  1. Yes, I remember not being able to bite into apples when I had braces. However I had no trouble eating them if they’d been cut into wedges, so that may work for Emma.

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