Thursday 12 January 2017

I just spoke to Alyssa about our trip. So far her luggage weighs four and a half kilograms. Me on the other hand, went out and bought a toiletry bag today so I’ve just added to my luggage! Although in all fairness to me, the only toiletry bag I have is one of those hardsided, tapestry toiletry suitcases that everyone used in the 90s. While it’s great when I need to fit in my whole family’s toiletry requirements when we’re going to my mum and dad’s for a week, it’s kind of surplus to requirements this time. So I bought a new one.

I think my constant search for the ‘perfect’ packing list and ‘ideal’ bag configuration is really just my way of dealing with my anxiety over going. I’m just focussing on this one thing that I can control as a means of compensating for all the things that I can’t.

It might be weird, but I actually think it will all be fine once I get there. It was last time. The guy who picked us up locking his keys in the car, missing the plane, the hours it took to buy a train ticket, getting lost on our way to the Jakarta hotel…when it’s reality I just deal with it. I have a lot more trouble with my own anxious imagination than with the reality of a situation.

The kids and I went to the Sanctuary this morning. I haven’t been in so long I don’t even remember the last time, and there have been all these changes so it was a pretty new experience. It was really fun – my kids are becoming such fun people to just hang out with. We got there just after nine, so we would avoid most of the heat and the crowd, and we left at lunchtime. We bought some rolls and little milks to drink at the supermarket and the kids ate while we drove home.

The kids played on their electronics this afternoon. It can sometimes be quite funny hearing just snatches of their conversation as they play – for some reason I kept hearing Jericho’s words of wisdom today and they amused me so much I wrote them down. I have no idea what these statements actually related to, but it started when I heard him pronounce savagely, “I don’t bother learning the names of my victims.” A little while later it was, “I shall surpass even the legendary!” and later on I heard him say with grave sympathy, “We all suffer disappointments, Emma.”

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