It took over two hours for Jericho to do his homework tonight. Two hours of Jericho’s particular brand of misery, and I am just done. I can’t do this anymore. He is too deeply unhappy, too anxious, too emotionally out of control and too lost within his own self-hatred. I have done everything I know to do and it is not enough, because he is not getting any better.
Something has to change. I mean, whatever we’ve got going on right now isn’t working. He doesn’t know how to handle himself and I don’t know how to help him work that out. I’ve been saying, “Oh, he’s better than he used to be” for a long time, but I have to face the fact that I’m still comparing him to the way he was when he was FOUR. And yes, he’s better than he was back then, but he’s ten now and what might have been ‘okay’ for him at five or six or eight is not okay now. He needs some help, and we’re going to have to ask for it somewhere because I’ve got nothing left.
I don’t know, it wasn’t a bad day at all until all that went on. Teaching was okay this morning, then I came home for a bit, and then I went and spent an hour in the park reading and playing Pokemon. I replenished my stock of pokeballs and managed to evolve three Pokemon into new evolutions that we didn’t have, so I was very happy with that and kind of excited to show Jericho and Soren, since I knew they would be happy with it too.
It’s Licola this weekend. I can’t say I’m really looking forward to it, but it’s a bit of an obligation so we’ll go along. Hopefully the kids enjoy it once we’re there, although none of them have been very enthusiastic about the idea of it this time.