Tuesday 2nd August 2016

I have been making bad food choices and avoiding the scale for…longer than I should have been. Today I decided to be an adult about it all and see where things are at, and I’ve gained a kilogram. Ugh. I’m unhappy that I’ve gained anything, but it’s not surprising I have given the way I’ve been eating. It’s a pretty clear reminder that I have to keep watching what I eat.

I have been doing better with exercise recently though. The recumbent exercise bike is proving to be a good purchase, it’s easy on my joints and being able to read while I do it makes the time go by a lot quicker. As far as exercise goes, I think this is going to work for me. I’m riding it ten km at a time at the moment, but I am planning to improve on that. If I can bring my food intake back under control at the same time, it’ll all be good.

There’s also a lot of wandering around playing Pokemon Go too. Not exactly exercise, but it’s getting me outside. I went to the lake today and caught some new ones and hatched a couple of eggs, so that was quite a successful trip. It’s funny, I judge myself so much for playing it by myself – I just feel so stupid, like I’m far too old to be this into it, and doing it on my own is pathetic! But I never think that about anyone else, and there were an awful lot of people meandering around the playground at the lake today playing it. I mean, the majority were geeky looking guys around 18-24, but there were girls of a similar age, and mums with their babies or toddlers on the playground, and older people too. There was a woman who looked a little bit younger than me who was there with someone I guess was her mum, and they were both playing it. There was a couple of dads there with their kids too – one had a very cute little daughter and he was encouraging her to catch one, and then she was so excited, “I catched that Pidgey!” There was even a girl in what I assume is her dedicated Pokemon Go outfit, it was all black and red and she had a black beanie with the red team symbol on it, and rather than judging her I was basically pretty admiring of her dedication. I don’t know, I just have to stop criticising myself for everything, especially something as harmless as playing a game!

Jean came over yesterday to get a photo of Jericho on his birthday for her ‘ten year old photo’ frame. (She is taking photos of all the kids in their tenth birthdays and putting them into one of those multi-photo-frames, so it started off with Nicholai’s picture and nine blank spaces, and now it has Nicholai, Alex, Will, Emma, Charlotte, Zac and Jericho, with room left for Sophie, Gaby and Soren – she did this before Elroy and Otis came along, so I don’t know what happens for them.) She had been going through photos and videos on Steve’s old phone and she had some for me. There were a couple Nicholai had done, and then there were a couple of videos that Soren had made back when he was in kinder and used to go and visit Wellmix with Steve. The Soren ones literally brought tears to my eyes – god, I miss my little Scooby boy! He was singing a song in the first one, and then in the second one he was just talking and he said, “Hi…this is me…Sowwen.” It was just so gorgeous, and his little lisping voice…I love the big boy he is now, but for a moment it made me miss my baby so much. He was such a beautiful little boy, and he really was lovely company when it was just he and I at home. It’s not just because he was born in the sun that I think of him as my sunshine baby.

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