Parenting teenagers is hard and I am not good at it. I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t know what to do about it.
Really, I kind of had a shitty day today. Teaching was difficult, and then I started driving Jericho to hockey and rear-ended someone, which was completely my own fault and made me feel terrible. Not only did I feel bad for hitting the other person’s car, I also felt horrible because Jericho banged his nose in to the seat in front of him when we hit it, and then burst into tears of hysterical terror. So I had to comfort him and apologise profusely and swap information with the man (why is it always an older man I hit?) and try not to freak out myself. Despite the jolt we felt at impact, there was actually hardly any damage. The other car had a tow bar that smashed in our numberplate, but the worst thing that happened to his car was maybe a scratch. So although he has our info, I hope that nothing else comes of it – I mean, I’ll be pretty astounded if he actually wants us to pay for a scratch that you can’t even see.
Anyway, basically I was kind of a wreck after that (and we were only ten minutes from home) so Jericho and I turned around and came home. Where Troy had picked up an injured magpie, and was on the phone to Wildlife Victoria to find out what to do with it. So we got home, Troy and the three little kids got into the car and drove the bird off to a vet and I had a completely crisis of self and cried for a while.
Emma has a crazy hair day tomorrow. She was talking about hairstyles that involved straightening and curling and I was just…????? We don’t have a curling iron, and in what universe can I do things with hair? In desperation to avoid another parenting fail I suggested she could do something with hair accessories instead, and I guess because we’ve been playing Pokemon and small fuzzy things are on my mind, I thought of all the cheekahs out in the library and said we could use some to decorate her ponytails.
And because not everyone knows what a cheekah is, it’s what we always used to call a small soft toy, like the kind and size that came in Happy Meals. The first time Emma ever got one it had a name tag that said ‘Kacheek’ on it, which she said as ‘cheekah’ and applied to every little toy of a similar size she had. And for whatever reason, we had a million of them – the kids had a pop up ladybug laundry hamper full of them by the time I banished them to the library. It’s funny, they used to drive me utterly crazy – you could not take two steps in our house without finding more of them and I was always picking them up – but when I thought about them today all I could think about was how cute it was when Emma used to say ‘cheekah’, and what a little sweetheart she was when she used to gather them into families and carry them in her pockets and tuck them into bed under tiny little crocheted squares!
Anyway, long story short I must have got rid of most of the cheekahs at some point, but Emma found two matching cheekah ponies and so she’s going to have ponies on her ponytails. She loved them, and I got to feel like I don’t totally suck for five minutes, so that was good. I’ll try and take a photo of her tomorrow.
Tomorrow is Jericho’s birthday. Ten years – it seems like forever, and at the same time just a moment that he’s been ours. I can’t imagine what my world would be without Jericho in it.