Monday 30 May 2016

I’m feeling a little blah today. Just a bit bogged down with domestic responsibilities I guess, although considering I probably do less housework than a person in my position should that’s something of a joke. Even though I did all that laundry yesterday there was still like four loads today, which was crazy. And dishes…always dishes.

I bought myself some thermal long johns this morning. Hockey training nights are always freezing so I’ve decided I need to just go prepared. Thermal leggings and tshirt under my regular clothes ought to help, and I’m hoping if my body stays warmer then my hands will stay capable of knitting for longer before they go numb. I do have fingerless mitts that I’ve tried to wear but they’re kind of chunky and the yarn doesn’t just slide across them. Once I’ve finished the second sock for Troy I’m going to use the thin sock yarn to make myself a new pair and hopefully they will work better.

I went to Anaconda for the thermals, which was a good decision since all their clothes were on sale and I got them for half off. I also thought that if I’ve lost enough weight by summer to fit into them then I’m going to go back and buy some of their super lightweight, quick dry, moisture wicking t-shirts for when I go to Indonesia. They’ll take up hardly any room in my backpack and I can wash them out and dry them overnight myself so I don’t have to worry about laundry. (Although I have to admit that I did love the way our clothes came back from the laundry pristinely cleaned and folded and flattened into perfect creases when Troy and I went.)

It won’t be the cheapest option, but I also thought I might look there for shorts for Emma to take, since I’m sure what she wore this summer won’t fit by next. They had a pretty good range of activewear shorts that will be comfy and look cute without having her ass hanging out the bottom, something which should be basic but can actually be really hard to find! Because honestly – I’m taking a young, pretty white girl to Indonesia and she’s going to get enough attention without wearing gross shorts. I don’t want to set her up to feel too uncomfortable.

She doesn’t seem as excited as I thought she would. I asked her about it, whether she was excited or not and if she actually wanted to go in the first place. She said yes, definitely, and that she’s excited when she thinks about it but that it is forever away and doesn’t really feel real yet. I can understand that – it doesn’t necessarily feel real to me either!

Anyway, I’m glad she’s coming. I think it will be an amazing thing for us to share, and I’m always far more capable and pulled together if the children are there, just because I have to be. This is probably a very good thing for Alyssa…I’m fully aware of how neurotic and angst-ridden I can be, and I was feeling kind of anxious about making someone who is not Troy put up with me for two weeks.

I think it will be easier than the last time I went though. Hopefully my mental health will be in a better place than it was then, which will help. Last time the kids were so much younger too, and I was just about shattered with missing them, something I hadn’t expected. This time I will be more prepared for missing them, and more ready for that feeling of completely out of place and time.


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