I have just been transferring my old photos onto this computer because I have been going through some photos with the kids. I’ve been hooking my computer up to the tv so that they can see the photos enlarged, and showing them all the day in the life photos that I took. I did one a month in 2011 (which we’ve seen) and one a month in 2010, which I had to transfer across. I did them sporadically for a while before that, and the earliest one I’ve found was January 2007…Jericho was a baby. I took over 100 photos each day that I did it, so even though only about 20 made it into the final slideshow I made the kids are loving all the odd, funny, blurry, reject photos just as much.
I am just so glad that I did it! I loved doing it at the time and I always thought that at some far distant point in the future I’d look back at them and feel all nostalgic…well that time is now, because damn but it hurt my heart in a good way to look at them tonight! Having babies and toddlers at home was a whole different world. I look at it now and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry – they were so beautiful and I loved them so fiercely, and it was all so HARD. And now they’re big, and still beautiful and I love them as much as I ever did, but it’s different. And it’s always going to BE different. Because we’re never going back to those days, and the kids are just getting older and more independent every day, and the changes keep on coming. Right now I look back and wonder where on earth my babies went, but soon they’ll all be teenagers and I’ll be looking back and wondering what happened to my kids and wishing that I could go back, just for a day, to experience that wonder all over again.
It reminds me, looking back, to really remember and be thankful for how blessed I have been. It was crazy and busy and sometimes so impossibly, heartbreakingly difficult that I didn’t know how I could ever do enough, but my kids are all beautiful and smart and creative and wonderful, and we have so much to look forward to.