Thursday 24th December 2015

It’s Christmas Eve. Three out of four kids are in bed, if not asleep, and I’m watching Frozen to fill in time until they’re asleep. Then it’s going to be Santa presents laid out and I’ll be straight into bed.

(And this is another thing that makes me realise that my kids are big kids now- I’ve only seen Frozen once, because no one begged for us to buy the dvd and they are all too old to watch the same movie over and over and over again.)

I’m exhausted. We had Troy’s family’s thing today and it was SO LONG. Or at least it felt that way! But we were over there at 10, like we were supposed to be, with the idea being that at 10.30 we’d all be there and could open the presents and get on with things. But no…11 o’clock comes and Adam and Susan haven’t even left home yet. Really????? I was so mad. It’s infuriating when people consistently have so little regard for other people. But it’s not like there was anything we could do, so Jean found some snacks (since Adam and Susan were supposed to be bringing snacks) and everyone else just had to wait. For another hour.

When they finally got there Jean had us all go out the back for a family photo, before the kids had smeared chocolate in their hair or sauce down their shirts or something, and then we had lunch. Lunch was very good though, I have to say that. Roast pork, ham, turkey and chicken and veggies, as well as party pies and sausage rolls, little hot dogs, garlic bread, fairy bread and bread rolls.

We opened the presents between lunch and dessert, with Steve playing the role of Santa. This part of proceedings nearly drove me berserk – Steve told jokes and riddles and made his usual speeches in between EVERY SINGLE PRESENT and the kids were all loud and the jokes were horrible and it felt like it went on for hours. Omg, I don’t even know. The whole day was kind of like that though, SO LOUD, and full of shitty jokes, and basically I felt like I was flailing around full of despair and inability to cope with anything.

When I could finally get away from everyone I went and sat out on the deck with the dogs and cried for a bit, then Troy came out and I bitched and moaned and he agreed with me and I felt better.

Dessert was good, and then we watched the big girls (Emma, Alex and Charlotte) put on a dance performance, and THEN Alex sang to us (she’s really good) and THEN we could finally pack everything up and go home.

Once at home it was straight into the bath and then we went out the front so the kids could throw the magic reindeer food around and wait for Santa on the firetruck. We waited for a while but that was kind of nice, it was warm and the kids were able to just play around a bit and relax. Santa threw them lolly bag once he arrived, so they all agree that it was well worth the wait! Since then it’s just been sandwiches for tea and Frozen and bedtime.

Four kids in bed now and no noise, so they’re at least trying to sleep. This is good.

Honestly, I feel incredibly guilty about all this complaining. It’s really not horrible, and the kids have a good day and Steve and Jean love it so I suppose it’s all worth it in the end. And it’s only one day a year. I know all that, but it was still really difficult today.

But after all, it’s Christmas Eve and it’s just Troy and I now. In an hour or so we’ll bring in all the presents from Troy’s car and arrange them, and then I can go to sleep. I’ve been having a bit of trouble sleeping over the last week, but I don’t think I will tonight.

I keep having crazy dreams though! Really vivid, and quite often in the dream I’ll be thinking, “This HAS to be a dream!” even as I’m going along doing dream things. Like letting them wrap my hands because somehow I was going to be in an MMA cage match! In the dream I was scared out of my mind and I kept on trying to see how I could run away but there are no doors in the octagon, ha ha ha! Last night I dreamed that I set up a lemon meringue pie store and kept getting terrible reviews on the internet. Although this was no surprise to me, because in the dream I couldn’t remember the recipe and so I was just making it up and nothing worked! So yeah, I’m not finding it easy to fall asleep, but once I do at least my nights are entertaining?

I can’t believe it’s my birthday tomorrow and I will be 38. Seriously, how is this my life?

My favourite photo from the day.

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