I called and cancelled the ECT appointment today. I had a good weekend, relatively speaking, and I think that I’m really starting to get better. The suicidal thoughts are gone at any rate, and it’s possible for me to feel some emotions other than hopelessness, both of which make ECT seem like it would be overkill right now. I mean, it’s not so simple just to be ‘better’, but I’m going in the right direction. I have to be sure to remember that, because admittedly I fell in a bit of a heap this afternoon- I cancelled the appointment and was feeling really good about that and then I got tired and had a headache and suddenly everything in the world was overwhelming and I was panicking about nothing. I just have to keep trying. It will get easier.
Nicholai had all his hair clippered off today. For some reason he made a vow (I think to his multitude of twitter followers?) that if Australia won the cricket he would shave his head. So that’s what happened. He was a little gloomy about the whole situation, but frankly I’m thrilled. His hair looks neat, and since there’s hardly any of it I’m not going to have to be always nagging him to wash his hair.
We put up our Christmas tree and decorations yesterday. That was fun – it actually left me feeling good. Soren is so funny though, we’d brought in the box of decorations and Troy had put the tree up when Soren came and hugged me and said, “Are we going to commence the decorating now?”