Tuesday 11th August 2015

Someone trapped our cat and sent him to the pound! We had to go and bail him out of cat jail!

I am so frustrated by this! The rule in the shire is that cats have a curfew and are locked inside at night, but during the day they’re only allowed out if they stay on your property. Since cats can climb fences and aren’t very knowledgeable about property lines, this is pretty much impossible. To stay within the rules you have to either have a completely indoor-only cat, or else have an outdoor area that’s completely enclosed. I get that this is the ideal, safe cat environment, but it’s also not the most practical of things. Especially when you had your cats before the rules were introduced, so that they have been accustomed for years to going outside. I suspect if we tried to change their behaviour to keep them inside 24/7 I’d wind up with a couple of very frustrated cats acting out in very unpleasant ways. Although I don’t know how I could keep them inside anyway, between the kids that leave the doors open and the cat-flap that stays open for Luna’s benefit we’re not exactly like an Alcatraz for cats here.

Stupid cat-hating council.

More Warburton trail walking today. We’ve reached Yarra Junction, which is just over 30km from our starting point. That’s pretty good! Jean and Steve are going to be away for the next six weeks though, so that’s going to mean a temporary hiatus. Today was good, we’ve really been lucky with the weather.

I finished reading a book about bipolar yesterday (Less Than Crazy by Karla Dougherty) Sometimes reading these books can be very depressing – in a ‘this is really me?’ sort of way – but this one was okay. I think I found it good because it discussed the way hypomania can present as excessive anxiety, which is something I very strongly identified with. I definitely don’t get bursts of happy energy, but obsessive anxiety that takes over your life? Why yes, I’ll take some of that, apparently. Anyway, that really made me think about how anxiety has manifested over the years, and I can follow that shit all the way back to childhood. I mean, I can look back at some of the things that I had going on in my head as a kid and realise that I had a problem then. It certainly puts a different light on the mess I was when I was pregnant with Soren. It was good to read something that related to my experience and helped with a little more understanding.

It also talked about the link between the medications I take and weight gain. Again, something both depressing and reassuring to read! Depressing because I have to keep taking these things indefinitely, but reassuring because at least it’s not entirely my fault that I am as fat as I am. My weight is something I really struggle with and is currently a big part of my shitty self-esteem. I fully admit that it’s my fault I can’t lose any weight (physical laziness and too much fondness or treats) but at least it eases the guilt a little to think that the medication is playing a part in how much weight I’ve gained since this all started. I have to do something about it though, regardless of how difficult and depressing I find it. Adding in the PCOS and the fact that the weight is mostly all centred in my belly it’s a real health risk. I’ve got enough shit to deal with already without adding in diabetes and stuff like that. And seriously, my wishes for losing weight are not outrageous- I want to be able to wear jeans again, go to Indonesia with Alyssa and feel happy about being in photos, and be able to buy and fit in to a Rowdy t-shirt. No grand ideas there!

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