Tuesday 26th May 2015

Jean and I did our Warburton trail walk today. She thinks we’re about halfway, which is probably good since we’re also about half way through the year. Today was an easy walk, we drove further than we walked to last time and walked back to the place we stopped and then returned to the car. It was also a nice walk today because we were in the horsey area and there were lots of horses to look at as we walked along.

Apart from my walk, I spent a lot of time today working on the reports I need to write for Indonesian. This should NOT be the big deal is has become to me. I don’t have to do one for each student, I just have to write a general report on what we’ve been doing for each class and then write a statement about the child performing at/above/below the expected level. It’s straightforward. And yet I am in such a shitty state that it has become this absolutely insurmountable task that makes me sick with anxiety just to think about it. So when I say I spent hours on it today, that is literally true, although much of that time was spent staring at the screen in a kind of muted horror.

When did I become this person??? What on earth happened to me??

Anyway yes, there was that. But at least it’s basically done now, I’ll leave it for tonight and reread it tomorrow and hopefully think it’s okay and I can email it to the principal.

I’ve started planning for Thursday’s classes though, which is being a little more organised than usual. Alyssa lent me a bunch of stuff that I’ll take for the ‘clothing’ topic, and I spent a while looking through youtube videos about batik until I found a suitable one.

I don’t know if I already wrote this, but at the moment it looks like I’m going back to Indonesia in 2017 with Alyssa. That gives me time to save up, and apart from the plane ticket it’s not hugely expensive. We’ll be able to stay with Alyssa’s Indonesian family for a little bit too. Plus, I already have my passport, backpack, raincoat, computer case and boots, which were all added expenses last time. It’s way too far away to really worry about, but it’s something that I really hope happens- I would love to go back to Indonesia, and it will be a whole different adventure with Alyssa. It will be easier to leave the kids then too. By 2017 they’ll be older, and they’ll also have Troy here with them so it shouldn’t turn out to be quite the stress that last time was for them.

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