Tuesday 10th March

I was back on the Warburton trail with Jean today, and we walked nearly eight kilometres (four out, four back). It was a nicer walk than the section from the station to the bridge that we did last time, because today had heaps of trees around and it felt like just walking through the bush. It was good- as I said to Jean, I like doing it and I like the feeling of having done it, it’s just when she asks me if we’re going to walk I want to run away and hide!

I don’t know. I really wish exercise was my thing, but it’s not. I have to do it for general health reasons, but I don’t know that I’m ever going to do it for sheer enjoyment.

Although I don’t think my activity tracker would know what was going on today, between the trail walk and shopping and just general rambling around.

Apart from walking I did some more work in the library today, and went to the supermarket. The library really feels like a job where I’m not getting anywhere, but of course I must be. Every book that’s covered and shelved is one less that I have to do. It’s just that at the moment the piles of books still to be taken care of is so massive that the little piles I do in the hour or so I’m there don’t even seem to make a dent.

Jericho was so sad today. He’s really having a hard time at the moment and not enjoying school. Nearly every morning he’s been telling me that he doesn’t want to go to school, that it’s not fun, that it makes him sad. Then he says goodbye and trudges off into the schoolyard like he’s heading down the mines. It’s such a hard one to deal with though because there really aren’t any real things that we can work at changing for him.

He’s anxious about his schoolwork I think, but he’s also doing very well. His teacher, as well as Troy and I, are quite happy with how he’s going, but I think he’s putting a bit of pressure on himself. He’s playing with Oscar and that’s a good friend for him, but I know he would like some other kids to play with too. I definitely think feeling like he doesn’t have friends is worrying him.

This morning was especially hard. He threw a huge screaming tantrum (about Lego, of all things) before school, but once we all calmed down it was pretty clear that it grew out of his school anxiety. So he spent a lot of time kind of blinking back tears as he told me that he didn’t like doing times tables contests because even those he’s good at maths he’s not good at doing maths fast, and then telling me that he doesn’t like going to school at all. I was staying at school to do the library stuff so he took Luna for a walk down to his classroom to put his bag away before he came back to me. But even then he was super sad, and when Luna lay down on her cushion he lay down next to her and talked to me in a tiny, sad voice.

It just makes me so sad! It’s not a big drama, just lots of sadness, although I think he’s okay once he’s actually at school. Even so, I don’t know what to do about it! I guess I’ll have another talk to his teacher and see what she says. As I said, I think he’s okay once he’s at school, but at least if she knows this is going on she can keep an eye on him.

Emma is powering through the Baby-sitters club books! She’s up to #73 now, which kind of astounds me when I think that she’s just read them all straight through from #1. Her favourite babysitter is still Claudia though.

Here’s a photo from the trail today. I didn’t take my camera with me, so I took this with my phone. And it was so funny, Luna was SO scared of that tunnel when we had to walk through it.


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