So much parenting fail on my part this evening. Blew up at Emma and gave her a smack, and felt horrible for it. She is the only one of the kids we have ever smacked as a discipline measure, and it’s the very last of last resorts, so it always feels like I’ve already failed if we get to that point. Which has honestly been so rarely that I could probably count the number of times on one hand. But you know, she did end up flinging a spoonful of rice and vegetables at my face at the dinner table tonight, so it’s not like she didn’t deserve a whole world of trouble!

I don’t know. I’ve read all those things that say smacking is wrong and I basically agree. Troy and I made the decision not to smack, and for the boys we’ve stuck with that. But then there’s Emmanuella…who, after trying everything else we decided to try the oldest discipline method in the book and give her a smack on her bottom, and it worked. Has every single time we’ve ever done it.

It worked tonight. After giving her five minutes in her room I went in and apologised, and she started howling and telling me how sorry she was, then we hugged and made friends again and she went and ate four teeny scoops of the veggies and rice she’d previously thrown at me and was quite calm and chatty for the rest of the evening. So really, I guess I just have to let go of all my angst, shrug my shoulders over the irrationality of my daughter, and go back to the more positive discipline methods.

Nicholai had a psychologist appointment this morning, which went very well. He likes her a lot, and after talking about his terrible day yesterday with her (he tells me what they talk about, and I also overheard a few of the things he said) he seemed to feel a lot calmer. In fact, he seems more relaxed in general after his sessions, so for that alone they’re worth it I think.

She’s given me a couple more questionnaires, one for Troy and I to fill out and two for his teacher. We’re not pursuing any sort of formal diagnosis at this point, but she wants to get a better idea of his hyperactivity and distractibility issues. It would be good if we could work on that a bit, because as he’s getting older his lack of organisation and his inability to pay attention is really becoming more of a problem.

I asked Jericho how kinder was today, and he told me cheerfully that it was good, and he had a new friend to play with today. I asked him which kid it was, and he answered, “I don’t remember…but he used to be evil, and now he’s good!”

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3 thoughts on “

  1. Do what works for you. it’s not abuse, to smack somebody who has just thrown a spoonful of food in your face, who is hardly ever smacked, and who is brought up all the time in an incredibly loving home.

  2. My mom had four kids and always said that no one method of discipline works for every child. Throwing food at you is completely unacceptable and she definitely needs to know that!
    I’m glad the therapy is helpful for Nicholai. :)

  3. *hugs* I really do think that there are some children who only respond to physical discipline. And it does suck, because it isn’t how we’d like our kids to be, but don’t angst too much about it. If it’s working, it’s working, and I know you love your kids, you know?

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